Monday, January 31, 2011
Highlighting your most effective paragraph thus far
To conclude class, I’d like you to review the draft you brought into today for our peer review workshop and select the paragraph that you think best reflects your ability to analyze rhetorically another persuasive text (or rhetorical event). Copy it into your comment and in a few sentences, explain why you chose this particular paragraph. I’ll ask for a few volunteers to share their paragraph with the rest of class for a brief discussion before we finish today’s workshop.
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I chose this paragraph of my article for many reasons. It allowed me to share both sides of the argument, summarize the article, and state my audience. While it is only a rough draft, this section seemed complete and met all the requirements of the assignment. Hopefully you all feel the same way. Here she is.
ReplyDeleteHowever, the road to a successful future is not easy, made evident by Rep. Paul Ryan who gave a strong counter attack to the Presidents ideals. He was quoted as saying “We are at a moment, where if government’s growth is left unchecked and unchallenged, America’s best century will be considered our past century.” While the President wanted to instill the lives of American’s with hope of a better tomorrow, it seemed many didn’t share his aspirations. Instead they chose to strike fear into the hearts of voters opting for their own “change.” The President is far more optimistic; he shares a dream that the people have the power to create a smart and responsible government. After all this is the United, not divided, States of America. It is optimism like this that made his speech so powerful, in a time when the country was at a moment of weakness. If it takes a tragedy like that of Tucson to bring both sides together, then the future is bleak.
I think that this paragraph was most successful because it included textual evidence as well as properly addressing the idea of pathos. It's still the first draft, so I am going to edit it and go a little bit deeper into this idea, but I think that it is my best paragraph so far.
ReplyDeleteThe debate of whether or not to allow illegal immigrants to receive in-state tuition is not an emotional argument by nature. However, the writer incorporates ideas that appeal to his audience emotionally in order to deepen his reasoning through the use of pathos. The writer uses moral ideas and premises to persuade his readers gradually throughout the article. He talks about how children ethically shouldn’t be responsible for their parent’s actions or punished for their parent’s mistakes. He creates an argument that has a moral basis yet is also strengthened with solid evidence and effective proposals. The author also strategically ends his editorial by leaving his audience with a moral dilemma. He states, “The situation is not ideal but morally, and economically, it makes sense for Colorado to help those who want to help themselves.” The author especially intensifies his argument by placing this last thought at the end of the editorial to leave his readers with something to think about. Clearly, this writer successfully incorporates the application of pathos into his argument.
The recent editorial in the Denver Post titled, “Share Civic Center for Big Air event? You bet”, addresses the Big Air skiing and riding competition in downtown Denver. Freestyle skiers and snowboarders from all over the world, join together in downtown Denver to throw some of the best tricks seen in the World Cup. The event draws in hundreds of people and costs roughly $800,000. The ramp, built of steel, scaffolding, and man-made snow is “101 feet high, 300 feet long and 80 feet wide”. Although this event seems incredible there’s a catch. People are upset that the public park gets closed to the public for an event that costs more than $45 to attend. Also, it jeopardizes the condition of the park because of the construction and enormous crowds. This editorial is in favor of the event over preservation of the public park in this specific case because it is an honor to host the Big Air competition in Denver. This is such special event that most Denverites take pride in attending.
ReplyDeleteI feel this paragraph is effective because it includes the idea of commonplace, and uses it in a manner in which the audience can understand exactly what that means. Also, the metaphor at the end helps to further the understanding of what the paragraph is about.
ReplyDeleteThe editor includes in the article a more powerful claim. He states that there is no point to putting a law in effect if there already are similar laws that aren’t being enforced. In other words, push more towards the laws that have already passed legislature. They’ve been passed, so use them. Is another similar bill really going to be any more effective than the last? If you put a bowl of water in front of a cat and it doesn’t drink, will putting down a mug with water compel the feline to sip?
The author encompasses kairos in this article because this is such a current issue in our area. If money isn’t raised in a relevant time span then the building will fall farther into disrepair and it will only cost the state more to fix the building. Money needs to be raised soon and so not only does this article help to raise awareness about the building but it also can be used as an advertisement to help raise the money. The Denver Post is a widely read publication and so the author chose the newspaper to help broadcast the fact that the city needs help to raise money to help save this historical monument. In the first sentence of the article, the author states, “As icons go, it has few rivals in Colorado. So saving the state’s crumbling Capitol dome is a must” (The Denver Post). Starting the article this way really points out the urgency of this issue and also has the possibility to touch a heart string of those who are Denver locals and do not want to see the city lose this monumental building. Another thing that shows the urgency of this issue is when the author talks about the historical fund in the last paragraph of the article. The author states, “the project cannot be allowed to languish for years if the private money fails to materialize” (The Denver Post). He not only uses this to advertise for the fundraising but also uses it to convince people to support the fact that the historical fund should be used for exactly this reason.
ReplyDeleteI chose this paragraph because it really shows how the author uses such a current issue to not only show his audience about this issue but also help the city to overcome this issue. Also I think I used a lot of good examples in this paragraph and they were weaved into the paragraph well.
This time around, my rough draft was a lot more rough than it was for the last one. I chose this paragraph because I focus a lot on who the focus audience is which we have learned is very important in opinion writing.
ReplyDeleteIn this article, Andrews is focusing his writing towards voters of almost any age and people that are aware of the political happenings locally and nationally. All of his articles focus on different topics so depending on the day; his focus audience could be different. Sometimes he focuses on the problems within the school district, and for those articles his audience could be more parents of students who are in the public school system and also students who are interested in what could be happening to their education. Because of Andrews focus on politics and government, it would be hard for an uneducated person to follow his articles. Although he talks about issues that a lot of people can relate to, sometimes it is hard to follow along while trying to understand the humor and his opinion about the situation. I had to read his writings over a couple of times to fully grasp what points he was trying to make because I was so focused on the intervals of humor.
Later he refers a survey by Andrew Kohut, who is in the Pew Research Center, use pages of The Wall Street Journal talked about what American people think about the economic situation in the world. The survey shows that 47 percent people considered China as the world’s top economic power, while only 31 percent of people believe America has the world’s top economic power. Nevertheless, the fact is that U.S. economy nearly three times the size of China. Another survey tells about 47 percent people think China’s growth is a “bad thing” for United States. A new CNN poll found the similar result that 58 percent of American consider China’s “wealth and economic power” are threat to the United Stated. The author use accurate numbers from a power survey directly shows American’s fear of the growth of China. What else, these survey tell us these results are from all American people instead of coming up only by the author.
ReplyDeleteHaley begins his editorial with a brief introduction of his thoughts on the film; “I’m no film critic, but I think it’s fair to say a movie has impact if you feel like you’ve been punched in the gut after watching it, or it causes a slight watery, salty discharge to well in your eyes.” This quote defines Haley’s ethos. Through his first sentence, he captures the reader by using a slight bit of humor contrasted with all seriousness. He could have easily said, “this movie impacted me and made me cry,” but his use of language figuratively describes his somber feelings towards the film. At the end of the first paragraph, he adds, “(I don’t cry at movies unless they involve old dogs).” Haley utilizes punctuation, specifically parenthesis, to decrease distance between himself and his audience. His use of ethos portrays him as a sincere guy who has feelings towards the education of children. The audience can definitely relate to him and respect his honesty. By beginning in the first person, Haley constructs himself as a trustworthy narrator. The editor comes straight out and says “If you care about the future of our country, watch it.” This single sentence sums up his main claim for his piece.
ReplyDeleteI chose this paragraph because I feel like I understand ethos the most out of all the rhetorical arguments. It shows the authors strong use of ethos through his language and punctuation and the overall effect it had on the reader.
The editorial from the Denver Post that I read was called Keeping felons out of schools. This article supports the HB 1121 bill “which would keep convicted felons from working in Colorado schools.” House Bill 1121 would prohibit Colorado schools to employing support staff such as lunch workers or custodians who have felony convictions of child abuse, unlawful sexual behavior, violence, indecent exposure, and drug crimes. All of these besides drug crimes are already in place for teachers. This bill would then prohibit the hiring of teachers with previous drug convictions and allow the firing of current teachers with old drug convictions. The only problem the author sees with allowing the firing of staff with previous drug convictions is because there are many different circumstances that the person could have been under. They may have been convicted of a felony drug crime ten to fifteen years ago, but now they may be completely clean and perfectly capable of holding a support staff position or even a teaching position. Because of this grey area, the author thinks that the felony drug convictions could prohibit the potential of employment rather than it definitely prohibiting an individual of a position. Also, another reason the author thinks the bill shouldn’t be as strict and straight forward is because it will put another burden on the Colorado Department of Education who is already conducting many background checks on those who are applying for teaching licenses. With a little tweaking in some areas the author is hoping the bill will eventually pass through legislation and in the long run ensure the safety of our children.
ReplyDeleteI think my first paragraph is the best so far because it explains what is really going on in the article and the stand the author takes. Before coming to class I wasn’t sure about how to relate my article to kairos and ethos but now after class I definitely have a better idea of what to continue my writing on.
This is the paragraph that I think I did good job on analyzing the whole article.
ReplyDeleteFirst the author mentioned about the European Union’s incident, and then the author talked about the mother nature’s fault. Then the author told us a story of the passengers who stuck in the airplane that can not get out. Later, the author gave an evidence to show that how horrible the airplane delay and cancel issue was. The author use data as his/her evidence. He also mentioned about maybe the government can do something for it. At the end, the author point out his/her opinion, which is the airline should reimburse their passengers for delay or cancel the flight.
I thought this was my best paragraph because I used examples and quotes which give my claim a lot of back up. I think it was also good because it is concise and to the point.
ReplyDeleteThe author does just as good of a job associating logos in this piece as he/she does the other two terms. The author backs up their claims with facts, things that can be proven which overall strengthen the argument. The author talks about the House Bill 1121, which is what would prohibit felons working in public schools. This article isn’t something that would have to do with a lot of numbers; the convincing has to be done in terms of morality. The author makes you understand and identify with people who have made mistakes. “At the very least, legislators should consider making an old drug conviction- one that happened ten or twenty years ago- to be a condition that could prohibit employment, not shall prohibit employment.”